PRINT THIS 7.30pm Doors Open8pm - Act I
IntervalRaffle Act II
Music For DancingIan to mix a couple of cds Act IDoors open at 7.30, to allow people to get in, and get settled with a glass and a plate. Background music - Hooked on Classics - Ian to provide At 8ish, Lights down Ian (VO) recorded shut up and sit down Ian's music and intro - 3 minutes Ian (VO) recorded hear we go Music: 'Let there be love' backing track Ladies and Gentlemen, live from Drake House, Wimbledon, welcome to the Carlton Dramatic Society Gala 2005! Please welcome to your stage, those comperes without compare, 'Uncle' Ian Ward, and Matthew 'Perestroika' Petty! Ian and Matt - 'Let There Be Love'Ian enters just in time to sing first verse Ian
Let there be you, Matt
Let there be birds during instrumental bridge, do blurb Ian welcome to this the 2005 carlton gala. I'm Ian Ward... Matt And I'm Matthew Petty, and there's just one thing we want to say to you... Ian
Let there be cuckoos, they lap up rapturous applause, catch bouquets and knickers Ian Thank you very much, Ladies and Gentlemen, and again welcome one, welcome all to this, the 2005 Carlton Dramatic Society Charity Gala evening. An evening of music, laughter, great food, great wine, and great company. I'm Ian Ward... Matt And I'm Matthew Petty, and may I say how glamourous and classy you're all looking. We've got a great show lined up for you, music, dancing, possibly romancing. A vortex of music and love, here in Wimbledon tonight. Ian In the interval we'll be selling tickets for the raffle, and some of the proceeds will be going to Wimbledon MENCAP, and to PHAB, the Physically Handicapped and Able-bodied Centre. Matt Various Carlton members will be performing for you tonight. You'll no doubt recognise some of them from our recent sell-out Workshops, and excellent Northern-pub based high-octane drama, Two. But interleaved twixt these local stars, we've manage to secure the talent and time of some of the Showbiz Worlds greatest performers. Val and James - 'I remember it well'Ian But first we have two of our most - experienced - members, performing a touching paean to love, nostalgia and memory loss, please welcome Val Foskett and James Grayston! Ian and Matt introduce V & J, exit Val and James enter, sing, exit Ian and Matt enter Matt Thank you Val, Thank you James! Poignant stuff indeed. Dave as ElvisIan We said earlier that we had some great stars performing tonight. And who could be more greaterer than The King himself, the monarch of rock, the viceroy of the pelvis, please welcome to the stage the late, great, Elvis Presley! Ian and Matt do presenting move and exit Enter Dave as Elvis, sings WHATEVER HE'S DECIDED ON AT THE LAST MINUTE Dave exits Ian and Matt reenter Matt call after Dave Thanks Mr Presley! Oh, apparently he's left the building. Ian There may be some of you who noticed that wasn't Elvis at all. No of course it was our very own Dave O'Sullivan! Matt We apologise for any confusion this may have caused. We promise not to mislead you like that ever again. Trollop's ChorusMatt Now, are there any red-blooded males in the audience? wait for response Are there any males in the audience? wait for response Anyone not sure? wait for response Well, you'll certainly be sure after our next act. Ian They call themselves Trollops, and who are we to disagree? So please remove your hands from your pockets and put them together for - The Trollop's Chorus! Ian and Matt exit Trollop's Chorus enter, sing, exit Ian and Matt enter Matt Wow! What a show! Lock up your sons! And your savings books. IntervalIan We've come to the halfway point in our show - the point of no return, both in a metaphorical and ticket refund sense. So we're going to take a short break, while you do what needs to be done. People will be flitting amongst you, selling you tickets for tonights raffle - so be sure to grab them! Matt Describes some prizes - WHAT PRIZES? Interval. People flog tickets after about 20 minutes, Call to order Ian draws raffle, while Matt changes into costume after raffle, straight into... Act The SecondMatt as Scott WalkerIan enters Ian Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed your cigarettes. I'm afraid m'colleague is unavailable right now. Can't think where he's got to. But that's OK, because now we're very excited to introduce to you 60's pop sensation and half of the Walker Brothers, Scott Walker! Exit Ian. Lights change. Matthew enters wearing his dressups, goes centre stage and sings Matt And if one day I should become Matt exits and changes back to compere clothes Enter Ian Ian Thanks Scott - good luck with the new album, and the hair. And talking of hair, it's my pleasure to introduce our next act, all from the US of A, and more specifically from her C of Fin. She puts the hearse into rehearsal. Please make some the appropriate amount of noise for the late Patsy Cline. Kristen as Patsy ClineMatt changes Kristen sings Exit Kristen Enter Matt (now changed) Matt Thank you Patsy - men, eh? That was of course our very own Kristen McGorry - Thanks Kristen! Sorry I wasn't available to introduce you. I was detained out the back. You'll never guess who I saw driving off in a Lotus 7 with a 1968 numberplate, wearing sunglasses. Scott Walker! Would you believe it. What, was he here? Singing? How was he? ... Anyway. Nettie And Ian - Baby Its Cold OutsideMatt We've got a treat for you now. They've had considerable solo success on the local scene recently, and I don't mean dating! But now, for one night only, they'll be coming together, live, on stage. Please give, if there is such a thing, a big Carlton Gala Welcome to - Nettie Piper and Ian Ward! Matt exits Nettie and Ian enter and sing 'Baby Its Cold Outside' Nettie and Ian exit Matt enters alone Matt I don't think I'd be lying if I said that that was just as exciting as I was told it was going to be! Thank you Ian, Thank you Nettie! Megamix - The Carlton BoyzMatt Well, we're coming to the climax of our little show. So get those toes a-tappin', and those knees a-jigglin', because I've seen the rehearsals and I can honestly tell you I'm very excited to say, please beware of, The Carlton Boyz! Matt exits, runs for it Boyz enter in various states of undress Boyz perform Boyz exit Ian and Matt enter Ian And the Carlton Boyz are available for hen nights, engagements and divorces. Thanks Boyz! Final BlurbMatt In just a moment we'll have 'Uncle' Ian Ward poised purring over the play button like a panther of pop, so you can groove the night away. Ian But first we have a couple of things to say...
|